Navigating Difficult Times

Things have been pretty overwhelming recently. It is difficult to be anywhere near social media (much less the news) without feeling as though you are being pulled almost constantly from productive work to distraction to worrying to anxiety to… and down the spiral we go again!

Where has the Love gone?

It can be difficult to seek a balance between Fear and Love, without succumbing to the desire to run away or to simply go numb and “go along to get along,” as my parents used to say. Who is right? Who is not? Who is to say? There really are several sides to all of the issues now up for examination, or actually at any time there is conflict and discord.

Here are some super ideas for navigating these times and taking back control of your life.

Pendulums Swing.
That’s What They Do

Remember that everything changes. What is now will not always be. Sometimes it gets dark before the light comes; sometimes the light is overcome by darkness. Remember, too, that darkness is not always “bad.” Without darkness, light is meaningless. 

Many people are very afraid right now, possibly you are one of them. That’s OK. It’s a perfectly Human response. In truth, I feel it as well. Yet, there is this voice inside that keeps telling me:

“It will be OK. Everything will be fine.
Just keep going.”

Focus on your chosen path. Avoid letting fear sidetrack you. Breathe. Do what you have to feel safer and still keep moving.

Choose Your Words Carefully

It is perfectly OK to feel what you feel and express what you need to say. My suggestion is to try to do so without judging others for their views and emotion that they are entitled to, as well. Remember to “be impeccable with your words,” because words do have power—the power to harm as well as to heal.

This is a very good time to practice, perhaps especially in the volatile, virtually anonymous, global world of social media. Avoid reacting. Give yourself time to reflect on why it is that you feel the need to respond.

Are you just reacting from anger or fear, or do you have something constructive to add to the conversation? Respond only when you have something useful to add; you do not have to respond to everything.

Be Gentle With Yourself And Others

Do your best to find Compassion not only for those you love, but also for those with whom you find difficulty. This does not mean that you have to give in or give up; it means to go the extra mile to try to see things from all sides.

I hear “I do that! But the [other side] doesn’t!” OK, that’s fair. It happens to me, too. Eventually, all I can do is disengage and move on. Some people seem only to be looking for a fight; they want to WIN the argument and make you see the error of your own thoughts and feelings. That’s actually fine. Don’t take what they say personally.

Have conversations with those who are willing to engage in dialog. Let go of those who are not. They are not your problem. You do not have to WIN, either.

And take time away. Sit in the sun. Read a book. Bury your feet in the dirt. Take a few days off to recover your sense of who you are outside of all the emotion. Take care of yourself, and if you can, be ready and willing to hold space for others. Really listen—to really Hear—when people speak about their own anger or fear or pain.

Stay Plugged In To Your Network, Your Community

Remember that you are not alone. There are people who care about you. Sometimes you need to lean into your network or community for support—whether that be friends, spiritual or religious groups, coworkers, or others. Social groups are there to support you and to offer you opportunities to support others.

Find a way to be of service. Doing something for others is a wonderful means to return to your Center. Do so from Compassion, though, rather than Fear or Anger. Acting from a place of Compassion will help you to feel better, stronger, and more grounded. Acting, even in service, from Anger or Fear will simply make you feel tired.

Support Causes You Care About

We cannot all be Warriors. However, there are many Warriors now engaged for change, and you can support them. Remember always that you (and we) are not alone. There are organizations with talent and experience that you can support in whatever way you feel is reasonable.

You are likely receiving numerous emails asking for financial support. You simply cannot give to everyone who is asking. Choose two or three that feel important to you and give what you can monthly. Then, you can know that you ARE doing something, and you can send a blessing and let the other requests go guilt-free.

It is important to feel useful,
rather than helpless.

These are simply a few thoughts that have come up for me that I would like to share with you. These feel like difficult times, and yet difficult times are great opportunities to do some deep and powerful personal work.

And you can do it!


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When You Let Your Guides Down

Among the wonderful benefits of having more than 20 educational videos about journeying and spirit allies online, is that I occasionally get some very interesting questions. I would like to share this one, and my response, because I hear variations on it from readers and from participants in journey circles and workshops. The answer to this person’s concern also points into a deeper relationship with Spirit than it might seem at first.

Dear Gerry,

I hope you won’t mind a personal question/request. I know you are a busy person, so I’ll be as brief as I can.

BlackPantherMy spirit guardians and guides are Black Panther, Lioness, Butterfly, Unicorn and Bear. I have had most clear and pressing communication with Black Panther, who is helping me (through visions as dreams, and visits or appearances in this world) and she has been so good to me, so kind, so protective. I have received visits from Cougar in real life, where she has simply stared into my eyes, for a long time, and did not leave before I did.

I live in the US where there are cougars, not jaguars, but I know my Black Panther spirit guide/friend is a black jaguar. Today, however, I had an auto accident, and it was caused by a large rock that a panther (cougar) knocked off of a mountainside as I drove past. I just caught sight of her tail as I pulled over to look for damage.

I feel like I have done something to upset my guardians, and I know exactly what it could be (I have not lived up to something I said I would do to honor my guide, something that is really difficult for me to do, but I did say I would do it to honor her). I didn’t think that she was that concerned about it, mostly it was just a something I had wanted to do to improve myself, and make myself a more pure person, operating on a higher level because of the gifts she had given me. I wanted to be worthy, and I thought I had time to keep working at it. in any case, I am not working/employed now, and my insurance for the car is not going to cover this kind of accident.

I feel like Cougar dealt me a fierce and devastating blow as a warning to do better; or worse, that my guides are going to drop me because I have not lived up to what I need to do.

My question: do you have any videos or resources that discuss what happens when you let your guides and guardians down? Do they ever leave you and not come back? I feel horrible, and I want to make things right, if it’s even possible. The last thing in the world that I want to do is to let these angels down. They have been everything to me during a very long, dangerous and difficult period of transition.

Here is my response:

I have so many videos up that I cannot actually remember what is where. There are at least 3 related to working with animal allies. However, I want you to know that your guides are ALWAYS on your side. I don’t know the nature of the promise that you made, but you were clear that whatever it was, it was intended to “make (yourself) more pure and worthy, operating on a higher level…” If you have not kept that intention, for whatever reason, then you have not let your guides down, you have let yourself down.

If you have not kept that intention, for whatever reason, then you have not let your guides down, you have let yourself down.

Remember that feelings like disappointment, anger, frustration, and such like are intrinsically human emotions that have little or nothing to do with the spirit world, which is essentially neutral. When you sense those emotions as coming from your allies, they are actually reflections. You are basically disappointed in yourself, and I would guess, choosing to ignore that as well as postponing pursuing your intention.

One of the jobs of your allies is to hold you accountable to your promises, not to punish you for failure. You are only failing yourself, and your allies want you to know that. Your promise must have been really substantial for Panther to cross the ordinary/non-ordinary worlds boundary and drop a boulder on your car!

One of the jobs of your allies is to hold you accountable to your promises, not to punish you for failure.

It might be that Panther is telling you that now would be a very important time to get going on that promise, since there may be something coming in your future where you will need that discipline or power.

And sure, if you continue to ignore their messages and continue to postpone fulfilling your promise, they may very well leave until you do. I mean, after all, why bother?

Here is what I would do. Journey to speak with your allies, to all of those to whom you expressed this intention, and let them know that you have heard and appreciate their message and reminder. Have a discussion with them about your intention and what it means to you. Then, if you need to, you can express a new, perhaps more reasonable intention, knowing full well that they will hear you and will hold you to the new one, just as they are doing to the old one. If nothing else, Panther has shown you the reality of this bond you have with Spirit. Then, if you mean it, ask them for help with the new intention.

Also from this experience, please take with you that your Spirit Guides and Allies are just as real as you are. Further, you will discover that there really is no separation between you. When you come to perceive that they are as alive as you—that they are active on your behalf, and that they are deserving of respect, gratitude, and honoring—you will shift your relationship with Spirit substantially.

Be well and safe. All the best…


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Eagle’s Challenge

The Eagle chapter of Spirit Paths: The Quest for Authenticity is challenging. It leaps from a discussion of personal authenticity within family and community (Tribe) to an overarching view of responsibility for nurturing human evolution as a whole. That is a view difficult to comprehend, much less hold, for many people.

Eagle sees the vast curve of the Earth, as well as a mouse on the ground.

SoaringEagleThe perspective of Eagle requires the ability to hold two disparate views of the state of the world. In one very broad worldview, a vast perspective like gazing down at the globe from a great height, everything is perfectly balanced and aligned. The dimensional poles of light and shadow, love and fear, joy and suffering are completely balanced, everything is perfect just as it is. There are no boundaries, no partitioning of the land and features into distinctly separate pieces. All things are held in an exquisite and dynamic wholeness.

Yet, far below, Eagle also sees Mouse on the ground. From Mouse’s worldview, it is clear that there is suffering, that the dimensionality of love and fear are not experienced as so balanced. The individual—and even group—experience is quite different from that of Eagle soaring overhead. There is work to do on the ground, big work.

For an example of the work needed, I selected a topic that is very important to me: the plight of Family in our society. Family is at the root of any culture, and the plight of Family is the cornerstone of mending what is broken in it.

The EuroAmerican culture has pulled apart the nuclear and extended family and scattered the pieces to the winds. Just more that 50 years ago, individuals within a family lived within 10-20 miles from where they were born or where the family called home. Now, members of families may be separated by hundreds or thousands of miles: separate states, countries, even continents. Some of this is driven by a hyper-monitized society, in which money and the accumulation of wealth is seen to be the path to happiness, or even a necessity for security.

Family farms dwindle as the children move to urban areas in search of work or success, and the children of Elders who carry generations of wisdom come down from the mountains in pursuit of “something better.” Family fields are abandoned to corporate farms, and the Wisdom Keepers find no one to teach.

Gaps between the generations are widened also by the cultural focus on the value of youth, rather than the wisdom of age. The distances between children, youth, adulthood, and the elderly have become increasingly clear. Rather than being integral parts of an organic evolution of family, the care of both children and the elderly are being outsourced into childcare and eldercare institutions. Whereas children used to be reared by grandparents while the parents worked the fields, in a blink of an eye, in terms of the human experience, their connection has been severed and pulled apart.

The cost has been unacceptable. More children in schools are on medication to manage their behavior than ever before, and the trend continues at an alarming rate. Many of the elderly are sequestered into “nursing” homes or other long term care institutions—mostly discarded and abandoned as their children continue their pursuit of money, whether from desperation or desire for security no longer found within the intact extended family system.

Yes, there is work to do to rebalance the human experience, to bring together the strained dimensionality of love versus fear… to realize the greater vision of Eagle.


Eagle perspective shows that all is not lost, however. Upstream, in the mouth of the future, there is hope. Much of the solution lies in our not-so-distant cultural past. Although returning to these earlier days is not an option, by looking forward toward a renewed integration of the potential of future generations, we can create a new vision of wholeness. A key, I strongly believe, is the institution of Spiritual Eldership that grows from authentic community.

When the focus of culture and society can be changed from short-term gain to longer-term vision, balance can be achieved. When it is recognized that the wisdom of age is as valuable, or perhaps more so, than the raw energetic of youthful exuberance, a renewed emphasis on spiritual community can emerge.

When you know enough about enough things, then you become truly useful.

Spiritual Eldership is a term that describes the place of people who through experience have learned many things about many subjects and situations. In culturally organic societies and tribes, for example, it is the elderly who care for the children. they have the patience to handle the vast energy of children, and the time to be available for care and nurturing. Children truly love to be with the elderly when they can, and the elders find the energy of children to be refreshing.

I believe that we are several generations away from this possibility, however. Our culture has created a relatively new phenomenon called toxic elders, older people who have lost their place in the flow of society and family, and have become suspicious and often angry. They feel cut off and abandoned. Many times they feel betrayed by family in particular and society as a whole. They did what they were supposed to in order to be happy, but in the end, the social promises failed them. Some do not recover and refocus their lives afterward. They become bitter and angry instead.

Yet, the experience of the Intergenerational Learning Center, a preschool located within Providence Mount St. Vincent, a senior care center in West Seattle, is a prime example of how powerful this pairing can be. It is a template which can be used and expanded to help heal the generational divide. Imagine an entire educational and apprenticeship system that uses such creative initiatives as the base, rather than the current view!

The results of such a societal change could be the return of a more balanced way of living as a whole, since the intergenerational wisdom that could be formed creates an upward spiral. Each generation adding to the wisdom of the previous, with Spiritual Elders as mentors to human evolution once again.

This holding of the grand vision of humankind as part of the exquisite balance of nature, as well as the ability to perceive and address suffering, is the challenge of Eagle. It requires patience, persistence, non-judgement, and overall trust in the mysterious unfolding of Spirit in everyday living. We can do this.

Eagle: The Path of Spirit
Where Everything Is One Thing
Spirit Paths: The Quest for Authenticity

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“Spirit Paths” Book Wins Grand Prize from TISBA

SPFrontCover_071814_450This month, Spirit Paths: The Quest for Authenticity, written by Gerry Starnes, M.Ed., and published in December 2013, has won the Grand Prize Award from The Indie Spiritual Book Awards. The competition was open to authors who publish independently regarding spiritually-oriented topics in 9 non-fiction and 1 fiction category (novels, poetry, or short stories0. Spirit Paths won in the Non-Fiction, Education category. The anonymous Education Category judge wrote the book review:

Spirit Paths is one of the best books available regarding spiritual and personal development. Stages of the process are clearly defined and differentiated. Exercises are described in detail and are easy to follow. Each new section repeats the essence of the previous one without becoming boring or irritating. In fact, the author seems to anticipate questions just as they arise and is ready with the clarifying answer. The author supports and affirms the reader at every step, instills confidence yet doesn’t minimize the work required or the profound life changes involved in the journey. Warnings are provided but not in a way that brings self-doubt or anxiety. Spirit Paths invites the reader into self-searching but without undermining confidence. Mr. Starnes’ style is that of a personal coach that affirms and celebrates the reader’s highest possibility. The book draws from a surprising array of traditions, yet there is no confusion about point of view or philosophy. The wisdom in the sequence of stages, the exercises chosen to deepen personal work speak of profound knowledge. In all, Spirit Paths is a brilliant guide for beginners as well as the experienced person looking to deepen spiritual and personal development.

More information and reviews are available on the Spirit Paths Book webpage. My gratitude to the many individuals who participated in the Spirit Paths program on which the book is based. Your contribution is greatly appreciated! The book is available in print and Kindle versions on

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Making Room

If there is light in the soul, there is beauty in the person.

If there is beauty in the person, there is harmony in the house.

If there is harmony in the house, there is order in the nation.

If there is order in the nation, there will be peace on Earth.

—Ancient Chinese Proverb


My partner Donna and I recently had the opportunity to consult with a Feng Shui expert to cleanse and revitalize Open Lotus Studio. The process was literally transformative, and I can attest that the newly cleansed Open Lotus studio is filled with light and love. Interestingly, the process brought into clear focus one of the core concepts of Feng Shui and sacred space-setting: that clearing the energy when you “make room” often means literal letting go of things, people and ideas.

When we re-make a space, whether in the Feng Shui tradition or from a Shamanic perspective, we are clearing energies to make room for clean and light-filled energy. Just like with our own energy field, we often collect dust or cling to clutter, which can literally be attached to other people’s energies. We can smudge and realign a space, or paint and redecorate a space, but often we are confronted with a tangible “letting go”.

Clearing our spaces of unnecessary attachments can be powerful medicine. Sometime it is only in the discovery of an old thing that we realize how much we are hanging on to an outworn idea of ourselves or a person from our past. Sometimes, a more powerful medicine is warranted—such as a cord-cutting ceremony or even recapitulation work with the help of an experienced shamanic practitioner.

Do take time to clear and cleanse your space, and make sure to take the opportunities for personal clearing that come up for you. You may be pleasantly surprised by the extent of your transformation!


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A Warrior’s Refrain


Pehriska-Ruhpa of the Dog Band of the Hidatsa tribe of Native Americans

Starting a 7th year teaching the Spirit Paths program, I am afforded the opportunity to examine again what it means to be a warrior. The word has often confusing meanings in our Western culture, and many of our images of warriors seem to be stuck in the past. Don Miguel Ruiz offers a contemporary definition of a warrior (in the Spirit Paths Program we spend a good deal of time focusing on Ruiz’s Four Agreements):

“The big difference between a warrior and a victim is that the victim represses and the warrior refrains.”

― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

This description hardly seems to fit our typical image of a warrior as a samurai, chief, or soldier ready for battle. Of course it takes courage and action to not repress and to refrain. But refrain from what? Refrain from… repression? Refrain from acting without intent? Refrain from doing… anything? This is interesting, because the person who represses something is avoiding it, and therefore not taking action. But a warrior who refrains from action, is also seemingly “not doing anything.” From the outside, it might be hard to tell whether a person’s inaction is from a point of strength or from repression (which of course is where Ruiz’s 3rd agreement rings true: Don’t make assumptions.)

Implied in Ruiz’s quote is that warriors know when to act and when not to act, and their decision is an active choice rooted in Freedom. Warriors act with intent, and only act when their intent is aligned with their authenticity. Thus warriors are always tuning in, checking in, and actively participating in their own authenticity. That’s why in the Spirit Paths program we teach tools for developing our authenticity, tools that often mimic the spear or blade to help us defeat our internal enemies and align ourselves with intent. In effect, then or now, the internal work of a warrior is very likely the same.

Learn more in the book, Spirit Paths: The Quest For Authenticity, available from

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The Shaman in the Cave

A friend recently relayed her trip to the Lascaux Cave Painting exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural Sciences. Many of you are familiar with the nearly 18,000 year-old Lascaux cave paintings discovered in France in the 1940’s. Werner Herzog’s recent documentary film Cave of Forgotten Dreams is an amazing opportunity to see the paintings come to life, as well.


The only image of “man” in the Lascaux Caves.

It is believed that Lascaux was a shaman’s cave. A place where possibly many shamans came through the years, centuries—even millennia!—to worship, create and (possibly) tell stories.

There is one particularly intriguing drawing in the cave—the only representation of a human. Yet it is not a human, but that of a bird-man. Like Thoth in the Egyptian pantheon, this long-beaked, tall creature is a shape-shifted half-man, half-bird creature.

Our oldest images of our humanity are in fact shamanic in nature. We were to be seen as animal-first, as connected to our spirit world intrinsically. We can think of this from a contemporary shamanic perspective that shamans did not not simply “go on a journey”, but rather we were so ever-connected with spirit that we would be entwined with animal spirit and then painted, etched and carved into stone for future visitors to remember.


The Egyptian god, half-man, half-bird (Ibis).

The Lascaux exhibit is very much about “perspective”, both how the shamans created the artwork (along the bumpy cave ceilings with a mindfulness of how a viewer on the floor might perceive the animal) and how we can use our modern perspective to visualize (using 3-D modeling and infrared light) how the painting were created.

But we also know that the bird-man offers another perspective. That of how the spirit world and this plane are one; how Eagle (bird) sees the world from that uniting of these planes; how we are invited to move between these worlds with the soaring and graceful spirit of a bird in flight.

Pretty powerful stuff.

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